If the story you are telling yourself isn’t making you happy what happens if you tell yourself a different story?


If the story you are telling yourself isn’t making you happy what happens if you tell yourself a different story?

“I ‘AM’ a poor kid from a trailer park in the mountains.”

That’s what I used to tell myself. It’s true; I “WAS” a poor kid from a trailer park in the mountains.

That’s not so bad… compared to 90% of the world’s population that’s still pretty rich. Plus in those hills, you learn how to dream. It’s easy to have an imagination when the Pisgah National Forest is in your back yard.

But what about this story I used to tell myself? The one where I “AM” a poor kid from the mountains.

It was a limiting story. I didn’t realize it at the time but when you are a poor kid from the mountains you can’t have a nice dinner, or house, or car. No those things are much too nice.

Not to mention you can’t go to grad school nor can you create a business model that helps people feel well.

Oh no; that stuff only happens from the Ivy Leaguers or from “them smart folks in them bigger cities.”

I fought with it a lot. I fought with it almost every step of the way through my M.B.A. and even battled still in my cushy project management role for data analytics in healthcare.

I’m almost positive I didn’t pull my self from “being” the poor trailer kid to “used to be” until I started helping people. Until I started seeing people have limiting conversations with themselves I was still stuck.

I knew these great people were choosing this story about themselves. Why would they do that? Why would I do that?

I changed.

Now I hear a similar conversation quite often. It goes like this…

“I can’t do that. I’m way too out of shape.”
“I can’t lose weight. I’ve tried every diet under the sun.”
“I’ve always been this way. I want to change, but it wouldn’t work anyways.”

Why does this limiting talk exist? Why would we ever tell ourselves that we “can’t” do something?

You wouldn’t tell your friends that.
You certainly wouldn’t tell your kids that they “can’t” do something that would ultimately be good for them.

So why do we say these things to ourselves?

Is it possible that we are afraid? After all, making a change can be hard, scary, and intimidating. Are we afraid of that journey? Maybe. Maybe not.

Are we afraid of what we may look and feel like after we made the change? After all, I like me the way I am now. Sure, I could be more comfortable if I lost 20#’s or if I could walk up the stairs at work without being winded, but making a change may change a few other things in me as well. Are we afraid of feeling better? Maybe, but I doubt it.

Or are we afraid of what the “others” will think?
Am I setting myself up to fail so that I then have to look at my friends or spouse and say(again) “I couldn’t stick with it.”. Are we afraid of having to have a conversation like that again? The one where we tell the “others” that the thing we were trying was “whack” and how cookey the whole thing seemed? Are we hiding behind this make-believe hasn’t happened yet story?

I hope if you can take one thing away from this is:

Anxiety is practicing failure in advance.

What if you could build momentum with your thoughts instead? Wouldn’t that feel amazing?

I know you can.

Use your imagination: can you tell yourself a different story that can be liberating instead of limiting? It doesn’t have to be a fake story, but rather a new reality.

Try and check in with yourself by asking these questions:

  1. If I were to fast forward 6 months and everything went well, what would that look and feel like?
  2. What if I chose to not make a change. How would I feel about that decision 6 months from now?

The first question helps you build the story in your head of a future you want to have. Work towards that goal.

The second question paves the reality of where you will be if you make no changes. Does this story sound like where you want to be? Maybe it does and if so, congratulations.

But, back to the origin of the whole thing…

If the story you are telling yourself isn’t making you happy what happens if you tell yourself a different story?

I hope it helps.  If it helps you, maybe it can help someone else too.  Share this with them.

Free help is available if you schedule a Free No Sweat Intro . Do so here

Best,

Jordan Vance

Jordan helps people reach their goals and break through massive barriers by making simple and easy to follow programs.  He loves a great meal, a great coffee, and a great pint of something local.  When he isn’t writing or walking his dog with his wife he is either helping someone crush their goals, or creating a plan to help more goals be crushed.

The CrossFit Open is Upon Us, but, like, Everyone Got Fired…


The Open is upon us, but like, everyone got fired?

So what does that mean?

 

 

 

Let’s look at the past.

 

In 2018 CrossFit HQ made a move to reduce staff and dollars going to the CrossFit media team in an effort to focus resources on CrossFit’s angle of health and wellness over the sport of elite fitness.

 

I think this is awesome.  I’ve been in a gym with 2 regionals athletes(1 went 7 years in a row as in individual then 3 years as team, the other went 6 years in a row as an individual), a 3-time games competitor(and 2-time podium finisher) as well as a slew of bubble athletes when that was actually a thing(…so long regionals #cryface).  

I loved every minute of it. No matter how much I loved(still love) training this way, this is not what CrossFit was made for. Doing Fran in 2:11, deadlifting 500# ’s and doing 100 burpees in 4:34 are all things I’m proud of, but that’s not for most people.  

It shouldn’t be.

Most people just want to be healthy. They want to move without restriction. They want to play with their kids and not be out of breath. They want to stand naked in front of their spouse, proud of what they’ve created and not be afraid to leave the lights on.  

That’s what the diet and exercise routine of CrossFit was originally created for.

 

So after the games in 2018, CrossFit had a few obligations to complete with post games shows for CBS and soon after even the faces of the games(Sean Woodland and Tommy Marquez to name a few) were dropped off.  Pat Sherwood(another host) was redirected to employment with CrossFit Health, and now the world is set to know a couple of things:

 

  1. There will not be nearly as much(if any) CrossFit competitive coverage.
  2. We will see a lot more on the battle against big soda, more effort to get chronic non-movers to consider exercise, and more battle against NASM trying to make squatting below parallel illegal (Seriously, that s a thing.  Watch this video for more detail https://reason.com/reasontv/2018/01/19/government-approved-workouts ).

We’ll save information around CrossFit Health and it’s foci for a later date.

 

So then what’s next for the CrossFit Games?

 

The games will be different this year.  But we do know that there WILL BE AN OPEN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

 

The full details are available here:  https://games.crossfit.com/article/2019-reebok-crossfit-open-announcements/open?fbclid=IwAR3POBELiU_BxBZxxMuf2tkIWK2gBBwxq4i1c5wSdeFL1YXHd8dQRr5OLws

 

This is exciting news and we are glad to see this move.  But what does it mean?

 

I think (and I’ve been wrong before) that CrossFit has flourished as an organization based on a few things:

 

  1. The program works for anyone who wants to improve their health(it seriously works)
  2. The business model leaves it up to the individual gym owners to be successful
  3. The gym owner can proceed to advertise and encourage people to join in any way they seem fit.

 

There was a different approach to the Games.  It was:

 

  1. Test fitness in broad time and model domains (Sweet.  Got that)
  2. CrossFit owns everything, every process, every step of the way(I see this as a constraint)
  3. Reebok cuts CrossFit a check.(make money)

 

Well, the Reebok deal is over as of December 31, 2020.  What then? It will be exciting I’m sure. CrossFit saved Reebok.  Reebok helped CrossFit get ESPN. The relationship was mutually beneficial.

ESPN lead to CBS, but now the media team that built it all is gone.  

 

Back to the Games approach.

 

Point number 2 is very important.  (CrossFit owns everything, every process, every step of the way)

CrossFit refuses to control every aspect of every gym.  To do this for competitions happening all over the world seems to be contradictory to the original vision of CrossFit (but so does running a brutal 7k in sub 35 minutes(Fraser), 36:05(Briggs) and deadlifting 615#’s(Dancer) for the guys and 415#’s(Wells) for the ladies.

 

CrossFit is changing that approach, relinquishing control.

 

16 sanctioned events, all independently ran with different programming (not Castro), and now the Games are going to be having Open announcements lead by independent groups (still programmed by Castro).

 

It will be rough year 1.  

Some groups will do better than others.  But with all things open source, the cream rises to the top.

 

It will be better next year.  It will be better the year after that.

 

From a competitors standpoint, it is hard.  The field and the way to qualify just got harder.  That only means that the sport got better.

 

Before the PGA, golf was all independent and anyone could sign up for any tournament (unless private club invitational).  Then in 1929 things changed.

But guess what?

The sport became more entertaining (it’s okay you don’t have to think golf is cool. It only grossed $85billion in 2016 with 1 in 75 jobs in the United Stated being impacted by golf as an industry. http://wearegolf.org/economy/impact/ ).  

Golf made more money.  More people began playing.  More folks got involved. Golf, as a sport and an industry, improved.  It wasn’t without a few years of hardship, but it was the right move.

 

I see the same thing for CrossFit.  This new model for the Games embraces how CrossFit came to exist in over 14,000 individually owned business worldwide.  The entertainment value and skill level will improve. There has already been more money awarded to athletes (making it easier to “go pro”) and there are probably 12 other benefits I haven’t mentioned or thought of.

 

There are probably 12 detractions as well, but one of them is NOT that the open will not be broadcast.

 

It will be, and I will be watching.

Jordan Vance

Jordan helps people reach their goals and break through massive barriers by making simple and easy to follow programs.  He loves a great meal, a great coffee, and a great pint of something local.  When he isn’t writing or walking his dog with his wife, he is either helping someone crush their goal, or creating a plan to help more goals be crushed.

 

Being Attached to the Outcome


What happens when you are attached to an outcome?

 

It turns out, a lot.  Being attached to an outcome can make your life quite hard, unnecessarily so.

 

I love graphs.  A great graph will take a really complicated idea and make it appear simple.  Seth Godin drew in his book Linchpin a great graph on the differences between a whiner, a fundamentalist zealot, a bureaucrat, and a linchpin.  It turns out that the difference operates on a sliding scale.

 

A linchpin, he defines as the employee who makes the organization go.  They hold everything together. They also make change happen, are creative, and inspire others.  The linchpin is irreplaceable.

Here the X-axis shows someone’s level of engagement from Passive to Passionate.

The Y-axis shows someone’s level of understanding of a situation from Attached to Discernment.

 

The journey from passive to passionate is easy to understand.  Either you really care(are passionate) about a thing, or you really don’t care(are passive).\

 

The process from attachment to discernment is a little harder to understand for folks so let’s quickly iron this out.

 

Discernment is defined as the ability to judge well.  A person with a high level of discernment can look at the world without a fixed mindset.  They can look at situations and say “Isn’t that interesting.” They can look at being cut off in traffic and think “I wonder what that person is going through today?” over “What a jerk.”  The person with discernment knows that the person may well be a jerk, but we’ll never know. The offender could also be coming home from a funeral, driving to the hospital, or a list of other things that could happen.  “Isn’t that interesting?”

 

The person who is attached to an idea has a much harder time.  “That jerk cut me off!” “This loser at the post office took 17 minutes with the postman.  17 minutes!” “I can’t lose weight because I’ve always been overweight. My family too.”

 

These people are attached to an idea.  

 

“…(People don’t) care about your defense.  (They) care about working with someone who can accurately see what was, what is, and where things are heading.  When you see a bump ahead, do you say, ‘Ohmy god we’re doomed!’ or do you say ‘Isn’t that interesting?’”

 

If you can say the latter, life gets a lot easier.

 

It is a lot easier to lose weight when you aren’t shaming yourself for eating Chic-fil-A.  

It is a lot easier to show up at the gym when it’s fun and not a punishment for something else.

It’s a lot easier to PR your clean and jerk or your snatch when you aren’t attached to a number you HAVE to hit today.  

 

Attachment to what “should” be can make you a fundamentalist zealot or a whiner.  These are cyclical states that only pull you further and further down.

 

Being able to talk to someone about these cycles, setting small goals to break them, and having someone for accountability purposes can go such a long way.

If you’d like to help we are here for you.

We even help for free. We have a process called a No Sweat Intro where we sit with you and ask questions like…

“How are you feeling today?”

“What goals do you have for yourself in life?”

“Here’s how we can help…”

If you want help, schedule a free No Sweat Intro and we will take time to help you find out where you are, what goals you have, and a plan to get there. We have a body composition scanner where we can set a baseline. It’s all downhill from there.

 

We even help do these for free because we care.  

Schedule your free No Sweat Intro and we will take time to help you find out where you are, what goals you have, and a plan to get there.

If you are already a member schedule your Quarterly Review Session so we can reevaluate your goals and where you are.

The help continues. It is our way to appreciate you for being you. It’s our way to appreciate you being an amazing human who matters in this community.

Keep being amazing.

Go get ‘em.

 

What are YOUR numbers?


“I want to lose 15#’s in the next 3 months.”

 

This is by far the most common goal we get from potential members in our No Sweat Intro sessions.

 

I’ve heard more than a few amazing people come in with this as the stated goal.

Why is that the goal?

It is a common goal, a very popular goal, but could it be someone else’s goal? We’ve certainly seen numerous folks lose that and more, some with 25#’s lost in 3 months.

 

There are many things we can do to get you down 15#’s in the next 3 months, but are they the right things?  Are the thing most sustainable things? Are they the types of things that are going to build habits and results that last a lifetime?

 

Maybe.  Maybe not.

 

It’s your body.  Let’s find out a few things, like first, what is your main goal in life?  Does the goal of weight loss support that life goal? Are you already hungry all the time? Are you already tired of dieting?

 

There are a few different ways to approach the goal, and it starts by finding out more about you.

 

We have a body composition machine that measures muscle mass and body fat percentages.  Let’s see where you are first, and then design a plan to help you crush all your life goals.

 

It starts with making them your own goals, first.

 

It’s your body.  It is worth finding your metrics.

 

This type of review is given to all of our current members once a quarter.  This helps us realign and right the ship when things go off course.

 

So, what are your numbers?

 

Go get ‘em.

 

You can schedule a free No Sweat Intro and a body composition scan here.

 

So, why does it work?


Why does our gym work?

 

It works because you are determined to make a change.

It works because you show up and do the work.

It works because your friends are here.

 

It’s amazing what happens when people who are driven towards a common goal get together.

 

When you are around people with a common goal, you work harder.

When you are around people with a common goal, you care more.

When you are around people with a common goal, you are less afraid to try something new.

 

This is why the home gym only works for so long.

 

After a while, it gets easier to say “I can go hit a quick session a little later, not now.”

After a while, it gets easier to say “There is another pelaton class in two hours, I’ll go do this other thing now.”

After a while, it gets easier to quite the drive within you to be better.

 

When that happens, you need a group of people with a common goal.  You need a group of people who care. You need your friends to keep you honest.

 

Why does our gym work?

Because every one of us, the coaches and the members, they all care.

 

Go get ’em.

 

Your CFCB fam.

Strategy vs Tactics


Our strategy is to help first.

 

How can we add value?

How can we improve our services while improving your life?

How can we make this an unforgettable experience?

 

We work to find more answers to these questions each day.  This is our strategy.

The answers to the questions are the tactics we use to help you on your journey.

 

 

Our tactics may include creating the best video ever(this hasn’t been done yet).

We may publish amazing blog posts with free info.  We may share skills and drills that can reduce pains and improve quality of life.

 

 

Help first.

Find a pain point.

Assert a solution.

This is what we do.

 

 

It’s not for everyone, but when it’s for you, no one else matters.

 

If you have foot or knee pain, check out this video.  Try out the exercises.  See if they help.

 

If they do not help, feel free to reach out to me at jordan@crossfitcb.com and we can talk about some other options.

Go get ’em.

I Used to be the Victim


I love Black Jack.

 

Now, I’m not really a gambler, but Black Jack is a fun game that blurs the lines between skill and chance.

 

Not sure how much skill is involved?

 

You can go to a casino and watch the dealer rake in win after win. They know the game, the percentages, the chances, and when not to take them.

 

An interesting thing happens sometimes where you lose again and again.  Your mindset starts to shift. You start to become a victim.

 

You feel stuck with the cards you are dealt.

 

The odds are against you.

 

Everyone else is winning and you are not.

 

They say the table has “gone cold” when this happens.

 

Now,

an experienced player isn’t worried about this.  Here’s what they do…

 

They recognize the table has gone cold.

They fold their cards.

They walk to another table.

They continue playing.  

 

It’s that easy.

 

They are still playing the same game.  They still have the same intentions, but they recognized they were in a losing turn, and they also realize that they chose that table.  Time to move to a different one.

 

Walking away and choosing another table is very easy.  It may not feel that way at that moment, but when you do walk away, you realize it is always that easy.

 

And when you do step away, you realize you were always in control.  You have always had that power, and when you know it, you feel in even more control and in even more power.

 

What do you need to step away from?

 

And more importantly, what are you going to do when you do step away?

 

I hope you’ll do something important.  I hope you will create something amazing.


Whether you go to the gym to create some new muscles, go to the kitchen to create some food, or sit down at the computer to create that report for work, I hope you create something amazing.

 

We make ourselves the victim.  I hope you step away with the power you’ve always had, and I when you do, I hope you do something important.

 

Go get ‘em.

Your CFCB Fam

The Traffic in Wilmington


Are you familiar with the traffic in Wilmington?  

 

It seems you have to U-turn once or multiple times daily.

 

Sometimes, on my way to work, a very satisfying thing happens.

 

I pull up to the light to turn left at the Monkey Junction Post Office, and guess what?  No traffic.

 

I glide through the break in traffic.  Making the decision to go is easy and I never have to come to a full stop. This is an easy and safe decision.

 

Other times, traffic is roaring on Carolina Beach road going north.  The decision to stop is also easy. I know the repercussions of pulling through the constant stream of traffic makes not stopping a foolish choice.

 

But most of the time, I am met with a decision to make.  The traffic is coming in intermittent spurts.

 

“Do I go?”  I creep forward another foot or two, then stop.


Another break in traffic.

 

“F.  I should have went.”

 

Then after a few cycles, you see the timing and spacing of the vehicles.  You accelerate heavily, but safely into the drive.  You may even peak back in your rearview mirror and see that the oncoming car you were worried about was still another 4-5 second later than you anticipated.

 

“PLENTY OF TIME!” and you give yourself a fist bump.

 

This is kind of like the jumping off of the high dive the first time.

 

You walk to the edge, you contemplate, you step back.

 

You think about it.  You would like the rush, but, just go check one more time.  Make sure it’s “still safe.”

 

You think about it again, you walk up, and finally, at some point, you jump.

 

And you, freaking, love it.

 

So you walk, this time more hurriedly to the high dive, and with no hesitation, you jump, relishing in the excitement again.  And this time, without the fear, without the worry, because you know now that it is not only safe, but it is also ridiculously fun!

 

Understanding yourself and taking the dive requires some management.  Do it, or don’t. Jump, or walk back down the latter.

 

You’ll find that when you take the leap, you make it through safely, every time, and your fear just wasted the valuable time you could have spent with more time jumping.

 

Don’t wait and over evaluate yourself.  You most likely already know the answer.

 

Don’t wait for validation from friends or peers.  You do it because you want to.

 

Go get ‘em.

Your CFCB Fam.

 

Click here to schedule a free no sweat intro and to receive a free body fat analysis.

 

Sprint and Plateau


Sometimes you feel beat up.

 

Life is hard, and you are just stuck in the wringer.

 

Other times, it all seems manageable.  The length of your stride increases and breathing becomes easier.

Can you have one without the other?

 

Probably not.

 

Is the joy of effort subdued without the struggle to learn or to gain?

 

It probably is.

An excerpt from Seth Godin-

 

“Imagine the trajectory of your personal and professional growth–plotted as a staircase. If we think about sprints as periods of growth, they would be the vertical incline on stairs.

These are times when you’re:

leveling up,

running as fast as you can,

focusing on one thing,

ignoring all else,

reaching an apex.

Sprints feel like what you’d imagine trying to climb a vertical wall would feel like.

The horizontal lines would be plateaus. Plateaus are times when you feel confident. You’re taking things in stride, you’re rallying without missing a beat, you’re on top of your game.

Plateaus have a negative connotation, but they’re not necessarily bad. You need certain periods to regain your confidence after going through the wringer. You want to remember that you are, in fact, a competent professional.

But rest too long in a plateau, and understand it for what it is: a secure place where growth is incremental.”

Go get ’em.

CFCB

 

How to Make Your Diet Actually Work


How to Make Your Diet Actually Work

 

I have worked with a lot of great people who have wanted to make a change.

 

  • Jesse, university professor, lost 80#’s since starting in September 2017
  • Maria, mother of two and full-time teacher, has lost over 50#’s since starting in January 2018.

 

Now, it wasn’t easy.  Simple, but not easy.

 

There were changes made, but they didn’t give up any foods they loved.  They didn’t become amazingly and drastically different humans.  They followed a plan that encouraged moderation, prioritizing healthy choices over unhealthy choices, and a good amount of movement, sleep, and mindfulness.

 

What does the overall plan look like?

 

Our plan for people is very simple:

  1. Get 8 hours of quality sleep a night.  If 8 hours is impossible, get as much as you can.
  2. Drink enough ounces of water to equal half your body weight in pounds, plus 8 oz for every alcoholic or caffeinated beverage. (I weigh 171#’s, so I aim to get 85oz of water, plus I drink 1 coffee and 1 matcha per day, so add another 16oz of water for 101.5oz.)
  3. Eat quality foods.  Quality foods are defined as real foods, with real ingredients.  If it looks like this avoid it:

Enriched Flour (Wheat Flour, Niacin, Reduced Iron, Thiamin Mononitrate [Vitamin B1], Riboflavin [Vitamin B2], Folic Acid), Corn Syrup, High Fructose Corn Syrup, Dextrose, Soybean and Palm Oil (with TBHQ for Freshness), Sugar, Contains Two Percent or Less of Cracker Meal, Wheat Starch, Salt, Dried Strawberries.

This is the ingredient list for a Pop Tart.

4)   Limit vegetable oil and sugar consumption(more on these another day)

5)   Get plenty of natural light exposure-Seriously; go outside.

6)   Limit unnatural light exposure(especially after the sun goes down).

7)   Do something you love every day.

 

BUT NOT ALL AT ONCE!!!

Seriously, trying to change more than one component of each of these steps at a time can be overwhelming.  Let’s slow down, and look at which one is easiest to achieve. Once we know what is easy to achieve, implement, see if it is having a positive effect, maintain it, then add something new.

 

Let’s look at diet specifically.

The Diet

 

 

  1. Set a goal (here is a guide to help)
  2. Eat normally for 2 weeks and see if there is any weight change.
  3. Make a small change(with low hanging fruit).
  4. Make other small changes based on the result.
  5. Celebrate!
  6. Repeat from step 3

 

 

 

Eat normally for 2 weeks and see if there is any weight change.  There shouldn’t be, because you didn’t change anything, but some folks have a lot of variation from week to week.

 

Take pictures! (of your food)  You’d be amazed to see what you ate at the week’s end.  If you took pictures of everything you ate then recapped at the end of the week, you may see some trends you were not aware of.

 

Were most of the pictures the same thing?  Did you have a lot of variety? Did more than 20% of the pictures you took involve a wrapper or carton?

 

Photos can show details of your habits and where there might be an opportunity for change.

 

Making Changes

 

Super important!

 

If you have decided to bravely leap into a diet, AWESOME!!!  Stick to the plan, keep the goal in mind, and progress is inevitable!

 

You can have a great deal more success if you understand why people fail at dieting.

 

Reasons why diets don’t work for folks:

  1. Adherence sucks due to too many changes too soon.
  2. Adherence sucks because they didn’t know they were making a mistake.
  3. Adherence sucks because they aren’t ready to make the change that gives them the result they want.

 

Remember: it is okay if you fail.  Have compassion!

 

Things that are okay:

  1. It is okay to try something and not quite get the result you want.
  2. It is okay to be frustrated.  
  3. It is okay to think the process is hard.  

 

Be kind to yourself!  If you give yourself some compassion progress is WAY more likely.

 

Things that are not okay:

  1. Being hard on yourself
  2. Not giving the change a chance to succeed(self-sabotage)
  3. Giving up.

 

These actions will lead to no change.

 

So give yourself some time.

 

How much time?

 

You should start to see the scale moving in the right direction after 2 or 3 weeks, but I want people to try their new habits for 3 months.  

 

Month 1: Small change, see if it works.

Month 2:  See if it is sustainable(it should be).

Month 3: Celebrate!   Then identify the next opportunity and see if it makes sense to add in.

 

The diet and nutrition wormhole can go deep.  Seeking guidance can make the process infinitely easier.  When you grab a coach you can save yourself many mistakes and much more time.  They simplify the process and cut out all the noise.

 

Google is an amazing resource but sometimes it is better to have the information organized for you.

 

Feel free to email me at jordan@crossfitcb.com with any questions you have.  I love helping folks anyway I can.

 

We’ll be launching a great Q&A we had on food prep last week the will be available to read soon.

 

Remember, YOU GOT THIS!!!

 

Jordan Vance, M.B.A., PNL1

Jordan helps people reach their goals and break through massive barriers by making simple and easy to follow programs.  He loves a great meal, a great coffee, and a great pint of something local.  When he isn’t writing or walking his dog with his wife, he is either helping someone crush their goal, or creating a plan to help more goals be crushed.